Food: It’s More Than What We Eat

My good buddy El Chris asked some friends to contribute to his blog. So… I whipped this little baby up right quick. I hope you enjoy. –Roaster Joe When we think about food, we immediately put our minds to a canon of experiences with edibles that we have regularly experienced in our lives. When thinking a … Continue reading “Food: It’s More Than What We Eat”

How to make coffee that doesn’t suck: The French Press

I don’t sleep well when I’m camping. I never have, and I probably never will. When I go to camp, I don’t go so I can spend the whole time in bed. Oh no sir. When I camp, I like to be all full of piss and vinegar, and coffee sure makes an awful lot … Continue reading “How to make coffee that doesn’t suck: The French Press”

How to make coffee that doesn’t suck: Grinding your beans

We’ve all been there. Someone offers us a cup of coffee and It’s. Just. Wrong. It’s vinegary. It’s gritty. It’s nasty and bitter. It’s (worst of all) way too weak. Bad coffee can reduce a grown man to tears. It can ruin marriages. It can even ruin your shot at salvation. God HATES bad coffee. … Continue reading “How to make coffee that doesn’t suck: Grinding your beans”

The Patient Wife Makes Some Ice Cream

At heart, I’ll always be a fat kid. I love desserts. I love carbs. I love chocolate. And I love love LOVE ice cream. While I can’t have a peanut butter cup blizzard, I CAN have the best damn ice cream I’ve ever tasted. “But El Chris,” my observant friends will cry. “You can’t have … Continue reading “The Patient Wife Makes Some Ice Cream”

El Chris Investigates Sugar Free Red Bull

Last year, I was a runner. Then I got mad because I remembered that I’m not built as a runner and it was hard, so I quit. Well, a good friend of mine named David Wherry put an end to that. He knew that I quit exercising and he pushed me to begin again, so … Continue reading “El Chris Investigates Sugar Free Red Bull”

How to make the killer-est most face-melting guacamole EVER

Since The Patient Wife is quite a foodie and I’m a kick-ass husband, I bought her a molcajete for her birthday. I couldn’t just throw it at her and say “FEED ME, WOMAN!” so I manned up and set the bar by making her a killer guacamole. If you make this, fellas, women will throw … Continue reading “How to make the killer-est most face-melting guacamole EVER”

How to cook chicken parmesan for 100 people without dying in the face

In which El Chris makes a turd of himself taking too many pictures of food. This weekend, I went camping. More on that later. Naturally, I had my camera and I made certain that all the cooking staff KNEW that I would be following them. All four of the meals were made in dutch ovens, … Continue reading “How to cook chicken parmesan for 100 people without dying in the face”

The super easiest pineapple cake you’ll ever eat ever.

I have a recipe that I’m going to share with you. I decided that you are going to make it tonight. You’re going to make it and you’re going to love it. You will need the following: 4 Tbs. butter 1 yellow cake mix 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup pineapple juice 8 pineapple rings … Continue reading “The super easiest pineapple cake you’ll ever eat ever.”